Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
wow bdsm is so cute
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
