doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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