So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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