Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
