11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
