it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Randomize
