i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
