i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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