i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
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