I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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