Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
