You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
