peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize
