i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
