I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize
