a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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