Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
