Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
