Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize