Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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