Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
This is classic penis vs brain.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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