That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
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