wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
