I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
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