look no pants
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
