she looked like the bat from fern gully.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
