Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
you will always have a special place in my vag
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Randomize
