Acid is not a monday night drug
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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