Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
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