you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
