I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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