Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
