white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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