i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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