oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
