Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
