WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
