how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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