new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
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