I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
