my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Randomize
