After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
