What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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