I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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