nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
