i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize