Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
