Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
