I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
