Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
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