So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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