is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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