how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Randomize
