I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
