So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
foreskin is a definite game changer
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
