the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
