i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Randomize
