shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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