Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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